My Little Day So Far

(Muffled Screams)

I remember being kissed awake, which is always the preferred method of waking up, but I didn't wake up. Not really. When I remember saying "EWAHU" and dropping back onto the pillow, that don't count as ready to hit the day-pavement...davement...fuck.
Lately, especially after a lively talk with Brad Sativa and Corey Perry that I might put up someday, I've been attracted to social media. So the first thing I did was check what my twitter feed was talking about and check the trending news, which was delightful (Cesar Milan aka "the Dog Whisperer" is under investigation for dog-on-pig action).
I posted some pictures and articles I enjoyed finding on my other feed, my facebook feed, and had a little fun doing it but am I really? Is this actually being creative to write about "I need to write more" after reading Warren Ellis daily 100-word essay machine that he christians "Morning Computer"?
Nope.
Hence, why I'm here.
Bonus: Words I had to look up on Ellis's blog:
brokered, fractious, gumming, the Boris Johnson Effect, lectern, hoary, Brexit, Taxonomy of Sin.

I wanted to post more feminist pictures from the highschool I volunteered at yesterday but fuck it, I'll do it after.
I ended up feeling compelled to finish my application to Toys-R-Us and finish listening to Bill Burr's podcast from last-last Thursday (gotta keep up with dem 'casts).
I occurred to me to check my e-mail for any new application messages from this or other jobs and I found one! From Knowledge Academies! I didn't show up to my interview today at 11am! It's 12:34pm! Shit. SHIT!

The drama/speech substitute class I was looking forward to just slipped through my fingers cause I ignored putting more notifications on my phone calendar. BTW, I had to spell-check substitute cause I can't even spell the education job I'm trying to get (MUFFLED SCREAMING CONTINUES) and I so earnestly loved the idea of teaching drama and speech to a bunch of nubile rapscallions (YEAH. I spellchecked the shit out of that too).
I haven't (even?) eaten yet.
(Muffled sighing)
I love you pillow. You are my closet friend and confidant. I will never leave you.

I need to actually prepare for my possible interview with Knowledge Academies next week. I do believe they are desperate for good teachers like, huh like any good school I guess. But it seems like with KA they need one right now, so I should look on this accident as a blessing and work hard to impress the faculty adviser of the school with my improv games, tongue-twisters, and relaxation measures.
Now roll your tongue.
RRrrrrrrrrrr.


OH MAN
I FORGOT TO MENTION THE BEST PART
So I finished my ToysRUs app and look at it. It's for the Alabama location. Y'know, the one that alphabetically poops up first. So I try to apply for the Murfreesboro one and it wants me to put all the info, that I spent almost an hour on putting into the wrong one, into this one!
Fuck me!
Ha!
Time to take a break and eat dead animals to feel better!

Springwater: The Hell Was That?

Open mic night, I sing to myself.
Seriously, I love doing open mics but when I'm going to a place that I have had trouble getting laughs from, I get very defeatist very quickly. I've gotten better at fighting the good fight but I hope to seriously hideously bomb somewhere in front of loads of people and friends so that I'll have nothing to be a scared of anymore

This podcast I did with my girl, Holly is on mixcloud

This podcast is old as shit.
If this was salsa, it would get a Mexican restaurant closed down.
It finally put it up after more than five months of dicking and pussying around.
I'll make more if I remember to do it, but I won't. I fucking won't. After a open mic I'm thinking of all the things I've done wrong at the mic/in life and am using all my subconscious mental power to drive me home and find the right CD in my backseat without using my eyes.
Anyways, I made this with my comedian girlfriend Holly Amber and made references to other movies and podcast I only listen too, like SuperBestFriendCast and the Monday Morning Podcast which, now that I think about, fucking everyone knows those who find this one. And if you don't give them a rip. Those Canucks make funny, stupid, yet insightful shit and double true for the World Renown Bill Burr.
Seriously though, listen to this podcast.
It's a video game podcast and better than ours cause Jeff Gerstmann is THE FUNNIEST MAN IN AMERICA, GODDAMN.

And after that listen to ours and email us ( banthispodcast@gmail.com ) questions and comments and whatever we might ignore it but you did it so be glad about that.

Here is a link to download the podcast: http://stream18.mixcloud.com/c/m4a/64/4/1/c/6/c9f5-6c6d-48c1-9a0b-2a5bb456fd88.m4a?1457585515

Space Dandy is awesome but all I'm gonna do is (kinda)quote the monologue on butts

Boobies, boobies, boobies... It's all guys think about these days.
Well, they're idoits.
Show me a boob-man an' I'll show you a no-brain, no-class, knuckle-dragger 
that knows nothing of the fairer sex
They don't get it. 
You can't take the measure of a good woman just by oogling her chest!
There are fair more important things to consider, such as...
(Ah c'mon! Are you even listening!? I'm tryin' to drop some knowledge here!)
See, if yer enlightened like I am, then you know
that the real show
is down below...

THE BOOTY, BABY!
That's where it's at!
Nothing trumps the rump, my friend!
Anyone that can't see that is either blind or a fool.
That's why I say: Enough with this Mass Boob Hysteria (MBoobH).
It's time to set things right.
IT'S TIME TO GIVE THE ASS THE RESPECT IT DESERVES!
So many women have been wronged for too long.
Like poor (insert girl I know with huge breast). 
Objectified ONLY for her boobs! It's a crime I tell ya!

Stuff I say on Skype: ANIMATION LESSON TYME!!!! (Superman TAS)

[7/21/10 8:18:13 AM] Andre L Churchwell Jr.: The DCAU (DC comics Animated Universe) forever changed the superhero's of the DC comicbooks by applying them to a cartoon show with all the best truisms and character traits that each superhero was known for in their mythology.

[7/21/10 8:21:09 AM] Andre L Churchwell Jr.: The truist adaption of Superman to this date: Superman: the Animated Series brought all the interpretations of Supes (the movies, the tv shows) and made damn sure to throw in everything from the comics that made Superman the great character that he is. For an example I decided to cut to the chase and show you the best fight scene of the series which they geniusly saved for the last episode.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTECNKpZAM4

[7/21/10 8:26:07 AM] Andre L Churchwell Jr.: Notice that this opponet, Darkseid, has never been seen outside of the comicbooks and maybe (if you want to count) the couple times he showed up on Super Friends: The Legendary Super Powers Show (1984) and The Super Powers Team: Galactic Guardians (1985) both times voiced by Frank Welker (Doctor Claw from Inspector Gadget:"I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME GADGET!!").

Also notice that this is the first opponent who is, in this setting, STRONGER THAN SUPERMAN. That means Supes can't just wail on him and hopes he gives up before killing somebody, Superman is forced to think outside of the box to win this battle (which is exactly what he is known for in his comicbook world...sometimes).

[7/21/10 8:51:28 AM] Andre L Churchwell Jr.: This fight is pitch perfect especially if you've been watching all the way up till now. A great Superman Series with a Finale that challenge the character. Up until now Supes actual hadn't fought anyone who was a murderer...of a supporting charcter, Dan Turpin a Metropolis policeman, that The Big S knew. He had been brainwashed previously by Darkseid to destroy not only cities and large military bases but his reputation as a trusted hero to the masses. PLUS the first time Superman or the Audience sees Darkseid this happens:

Darkseid is about to leave through a portal.

Superman: "Who are you?"

Darkseid: *Shoots LAZERBEAMS out of his eyes and brings Superman to such agony that he gets knocked out*

Superman: "ARRRGGGHHH!"

Darkseid: "That's who I am."

[7/21/10 8:51:34 AM] Andre L Churchwell Jr.: Episode here: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xbmmih_superman-s02e15-fathers-day_shortfilms

A script I'm working on/with

Necessary shots:
1 Tony and Tiff are out side Tiff's apartment Tony's bags can be seen
2 Tiff heads back in. Tony is left outside trying to give chase
3 Tony gets hits in the face with something
4 We see it's a shirt in a closeup
5 He's alone now with his boxes
6 We're in a house with Tony and his boxes
7 A look of disappointment from Tony at the current perdicament
8 He looks through his things and finds a picture
9 It's of Tiff and Tony together but in the picture there is some distance between them. They are on a bench
10 Tony sets up the picture frame in the center-front of a shelf with his stuff on it.
11 He tries calling her
12 Trying to move on he gets some new chairs
13 Tony's room starts to look nice
14 It becomes very messy
15 So does Tony
16 He's not focused on the photograph
17 Tony seems to be followed around the small room by this photograph
18 Tony comes back to the photo
19 He changes his look to become more appealing for his ex
20 He tries to call her on his way to her apartment but no answer
21 The door to her apartment is taped off and says "Gas Leak?/For Sale?/Abandoned?"
22 HE looks at the picture for guidance
23 Goes to where the picture was taken and finds her
24 About to go over to her
25 But a handsome guy steps behind Tiff
26 And kisses her on the head
27 Tony is having a Blue Screen of Death
28 The Tiff and New Boy Couple are even asking a walker by for a picture of the spot
29 Tony leaves moving very robotically and methodically
30 Tiff looks at the photo they just made and has a moment of sadness and regret
31 Tony is back at his worn out home. Staring at something
32 We pull back and reveal that it's the framed photograph
33 He walks toward it as if he's hypnotized
34 He picks it up
35 The photo has now changed with Tony And Tiff sitting closer together. Tony looks content

A little 4th of July quote for the occasion

Man On Stoop: I’m sayin’, every Friday night in an alley behind the Cut Rate, we rollin’ bones, you know? I mean all them boys, we roll til late.

McNulty: Alley crap game, right?

Man On Stoop: Like every time, Snot, he’d fade a few shooters, play it out til the pot’s deep. Snatch and run.

McNulty: What, every time?

Man On Stoop: Couldn’t help hisself.

McNulty: Let me understand. Every Friday night, you and your boys are shootin’ craps, right? And every Friday night, your pal Snot Boogie… he’d wait til there’s cash on the ground and he’d grab it and run away? You let him do that?

Man On Stoop: We’d catch him and beat his ass but ain’t nobody ever go past that.

McNulty: I gotta ask ya: If every time Snotboogie would grab the money and run away, why'd you even let him in the game?

Man On Stoop: What?

McNulty: If Snotboogie always stole the money, why'd you let him play?

Man On Stoop: Got to. This America, man.