Open mic night, I sing to myself.
Seriously, I love doing open mics but when I'm going to a place that I have had trouble getting laughs from, I get very defeatist very quickly. I've gotten better at fighting the good fight but I hope to seriously hideously bomb somewhere in front of loads of people and friends so that I'll have nothing to be a scared of anymore
Wednesday, March 9, 2016
This podcast I did with my girl, Holly is on mixcloud
This podcast is old as shit.
If this was salsa, it would get a Mexican restaurant closed down.
It finally put it up after more than five months of dicking and pussying around.
I'll make more if I remember to do it, but I won't. I fucking won't. After a open mic I'm thinking of all the things I've done wrong at the mic/in life and am using all my subconscious mental power to drive me home and find the right CD in my backseat without using my eyes.
Anyways, I made this with my comedian girlfriend Holly Amber and made references to other movies and podcast I only listen too, like SuperBestFriendCast and the Monday Morning Podcast which, now that I think about, fucking everyone knows those who find this one. And if you don't give them a rip. Those Canucks make funny, stupid, yet insightful shit and double true for the World Renown Bill Burr.
Seriously though, listen to this podcast.
It's a video game podcast and better than ours cause Jeff Gerstmann is THE FUNNIEST MAN IN AMERICA, GODDAMN.
And after that listen to ours and email us ( banthispodcast@gmail.com ) questions and comments and whatever we might ignore it but you did it so be glad about that.
Here is a link to download the podcast: http://stream18.mixcloud.com/c/m4a/64/4/1/c/6/c9f5-6c6d-48c1-9a0b-2a5bb456fd88.m4a?1457585515
If this was salsa, it would get a Mexican restaurant closed down.
It finally put it up after more than five months of dicking and pussying around.
I'll make more if I remember to do it, but I won't. I fucking won't. After a open mic I'm thinking of all the things I've done wrong at the mic/in life and am using all my subconscious mental power to drive me home and find the right CD in my backseat without using my eyes.
Anyways, I made this with my comedian girlfriend Holly Amber and made references to other movies and podcast I only listen too, like SuperBestFriendCast and the Monday Morning Podcast which, now that I think about, fucking everyone knows those who find this one. And if you don't give them a rip. Those Canucks make funny, stupid, yet insightful shit and double true for the World Renown Bill Burr.
Seriously though, listen to this podcast.
It's a video game podcast and better than ours cause Jeff Gerstmann is THE FUNNIEST MAN IN AMERICA, GODDAMN.
And after that listen to ours and email us ( banthispodcast@gmail.com ) questions and comments and whatever we might ignore it but you did it so be glad about that.
Here is a link to download the podcast: http://stream18.mixcloud.com/c/m4a/64/4/1/c/6/c9f5-6c6d-48c1-9a0b-2a5bb456fd88.m4a?1457585515
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Space Dandy is awesome but all I'm gonna do is (kinda)quote the monologue on butts
Well, they're idoits.
Show me a boob-man an' I'll show you a no-brain, no-class, knuckle-dragger
that knows nothing of the fairer sex
They don't get it.
You can't take the measure of a good woman just by oogling her chest!
There are fair more important things to consider, such as...
(Ah c'mon! Are you even listening!? I'm tryin' to drop some knowledge here!)
See, if yer enlightened like I am, then you know
that the real show
is down below...
THE BOOTY, BABY!
That's where it's at!
Nothing trumps the rump, my friend!
Anyone that can't see that is either blind or a fool.
That's why I say: Enough with this Mass Boob Hysteria (MBoobH).
It's time to set things right.
IT'S TIME TO GIVE THE ASS THE RESPECT IT DESERVES!
So many women have been wronged for too long.
Like poor (insert girl I know with huge breast).
Objectified ONLY for her boobs! It's a crime I tell ya!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Stuff I say on Skype: ANIMATION LESSON TYME!!!! (Superman TAS)
[7/21/10 8:18:13 AM] Andre L Churchwell Jr.: The DCAU (DC comics Animated Universe) forever changed the superhero's of the DC comicbooks by applying them to a cartoon show with all the best truisms and character traits that each superhero was known for in their mythology.
[7/21/10 8:21:09 AM] Andre L Churchwell Jr.: The truist adaption of Superman to this date: Superman: the Animated Series brought all the interpretations of Supes (the movies, the tv shows) and made damn sure to throw in everything from the comics that made Superman the great character that he is. For an example I decided to cut to the chase and show you the best fight scene of the series which they geniusly saved for the last episode.
[7/21/10 8:26:07 AM] Andre L Churchwell Jr.: Notice that this opponet, Darkseid, has never been seen outside of the comicbooks and maybe (if you want to count) the couple times he showed up on Super Friends: The Legendary Super Powers Show (1984) and The Super Powers Team: Galactic Guardians (1985) both times voiced by Frank Welker (Doctor Claw from Inspector Gadget:"I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME GADGET!!").
Also notice that this is the first opponent who is, in this setting, STRONGER THAN SUPERMAN. That means Supes can't just wail on him and hopes he gives up before killing somebody, Superman is forced to think outside of the box to win this battle (which is exactly what he is known for in his comicbook world...sometimes).
[7/21/10 8:51:28 AM] Andre L Churchwell Jr.: This fight is pitch perfect especially if you've been watching all the way up till now. A great Superman Series with a Finale that challenge the character. Up until now Supes actual hadn't fought anyone who was a murderer...of a supporting charcter, Dan Turpin a Metropolis policeman, that The Big S knew. He had been brainwashed previously by Darkseid to destroy not only cities and large military bases but his reputation as a trusted hero to the masses. PLUS the first time Superman or the Audience sees Darkseid this happens:
Darkseid is about to leave through a portal.
Superman: "Who are you?"
Darkseid: *Shoots LAZERBEAMS out of his eyes and brings Superman to such agony that he gets knocked out*
Superman: "ARRRGGGHHH!"
Darkseid: "That's who I am."
[7/21/10 8:51:34 AM] Andre L Churchwell Jr.: Episode here: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xbmmih_superman-s02e15-fathers-day_shortfilms
Friday, July 31, 2009
A script I'm working on/with
Necessary shots:
1 Tony and Tiff are out side Tiff's apartment Tony's bags can be seen
2 Tiff heads back in. Tony is left outside trying to give chase
3 Tony gets hits in the face with something
4 We see it's a shirt in a closeup
5 He's alone now with his boxes
6 We're in a house with Tony and his boxes
7 A look of disappointment from Tony at the current perdicament
8 He looks through his things and finds a picture
9 It's of Tiff and Tony together but in the picture there is some distance between them. They are on a bench
10 Tony sets up the picture frame in the center-front of a shelf with his stuff on it.
11 He tries calling her
12 Trying to move on he gets some new chairs
13 Tony's room starts to look nice
14 It becomes very messy
15 So does Tony
16 He's not focused on the photograph
17 Tony seems to be followed around the small room by this photograph
18 Tony comes back to the photo
19 He changes his look to become more appealing for his ex
20 He tries to call her on his way to her apartment but no answer
21 The door to her apartment is taped off and says "Gas Leak?/For Sale?/Abandoned?"
22 HE looks at the picture for guidance
23 Goes to where the picture was taken and finds her
24 About to go over to her
25 But a handsome guy steps behind Tiff
26 And kisses her on the head
27 Tony is having a Blue Screen of Death
28 The Tiff and New Boy Couple are even asking a walker by for a picture of the spot
29 Tony leaves moving very robotically and methodically
30 Tiff looks at the photo they just made and has a moment of sadness and regret
31 Tony is back at his worn out home. Staring at something
32 We pull back and reveal that it's the framed photograph
33 He walks toward it as if he's hypnotized
34 He picks it up
35 The photo has now changed with Tony And Tiff sitting closer together. Tony looks content
1 Tony and Tiff are out side Tiff's apartment Tony's bags can be seen
2 Tiff heads back in. Tony is left outside trying to give chase
3 Tony gets hits in the face with something
4 We see it's a shirt in a closeup
5 He's alone now with his boxes
6 We're in a house with Tony and his boxes
7 A look of disappointment from Tony at the current perdicament
8 He looks through his things and finds a picture
9 It's of Tiff and Tony together but in the picture there is some distance between them. They are on a bench
10 Tony sets up the picture frame in the center-front of a shelf with his stuff on it.
11 He tries calling her
12 Trying to move on he gets some new chairs
13 Tony's room starts to look nice
14 It becomes very messy
15 So does Tony
16 He's not focused on the photograph
17 Tony seems to be followed around the small room by this photograph
18 Tony comes back to the photo
19 He changes his look to become more appealing for his ex
20 He tries to call her on his way to her apartment but no answer
21 The door to her apartment is taped off and says "Gas Leak?/For Sale?/Abandoned?"
22 HE looks at the picture for guidance
23 Goes to where the picture was taken and finds her
24 About to go over to her
25 But a handsome guy steps behind Tiff
26 And kisses her on the head
27 Tony is having a Blue Screen of Death
28 The Tiff and New Boy Couple are even asking a walker by for a picture of the spot
29 Tony leaves moving very robotically and methodically
30 Tiff looks at the photo they just made and has a moment of sadness and regret
31 Tony is back at his worn out home. Staring at something
32 We pull back and reveal that it's the framed photograph
33 He walks toward it as if he's hypnotized
34 He picks it up
35 The photo has now changed with Tony And Tiff sitting closer together. Tony looks content
Sunday, July 5, 2009
A little 4th of July quote for the occasion
- Man On Stoop: I’m sayin’, every Friday night in an alley behind the Cut Rate, we rollin’ bones, you know? I mean all them boys, we roll til late.
- McNulty: Alley crap game, right?
- Man On Stoop: Like every time, Snot, he’d fade a few shooters, play it out til the pot’s deep. Snatch and run.
- McNulty: What, every time?
- Man On Stoop: Couldn’t help hisself.
- McNulty: Let me understand. Every Friday night, you and your boys are shootin’ craps, right? And every Friday night, your pal Snot Boogie… he’d wait til there’s cash on the ground and he’d grab it and run away? You let him do that?
- Man On Stoop: We’d catch him and beat his ass but ain’t nobody ever go past that.
- McNulty: I gotta ask ya: If every time Snotboogie would grab the money and run away, why'd you even let him in the game?
- Man On Stoop: What?
- McNulty: If Snotboogie always stole the money, why'd you let him play?
- Man On Stoop: Got to. This America, man.
Friday, July 3, 2009
The future is so bright, it looks like the after flash of a hydrogen bomb.
NFI is starting classes Monday. They don't have many people in those classrooms. About four students at one time. The Nashville Film Institute will have one more student to add to its roster. One who mugged his way through a high school performance of "Guys and Dolls" as Lieutenant Brannigan. One who blogs about said experience AND TAKES FROM 10pm TO 8:17am TO WRITE A DAGGUM POST. SCIENCE H. LOGIC, THE INTERNET IS AN EVERPLEASING WHORE.
(Just look they were playing Outlaw Star and now they're giving me this Canadian show ReBoot)
Well I do want to become a better writer so my task today is to read. And not read comicbooks, (d'oh! My foolproof plan to read 15 comics sequentially at Borders is ruined!) but hardback ones. I'm talking about those clunky motherfuckers. The kind of books that could replace the yellow pages as the choice of torture weapon in a police station's interrogation room. The kind of book OLD people used to, and still can, read. The kind of book Oprah masterbates to. THAT book.
...
Well, not THAT book but I found one that has just as much width (mix that medium of measurement with that Oprah comment and a funny little picture will creep into your mind) as the dreaded book club book without the sass you intake from discussing it with friends and strangers at the mall. I'm talking about (has to look for the book to find the title) "Edgeworks 3 by Harlan Ellison". Yes, that Harlan Ellison. One of the most prolific, celebrated science fiction writers of the last 100 years. I knew a lot about him from Patton Oswalts pervasive rants. His name would fall out of Oswalt's mouth more than a few times. What struck me is how hard it was to actually find some stuff of his at a bookstore. Borders, Barnes & Nobles and Davis Kidd were bone dry of the stuff. It was only at libraries and the cartoonishly volumed Bookman & Bookwoman that I would find one book of his. Each time, a different one.
My local library had a Graphic Novel (SQUEEEEEEE) collection of some of his short stories with him walking in-between stories like a cross between Alfred Hitchcock, the Crpyt Keeper, and Robert Duvall (it fits. IT FITS I TELL YOU!).
My distant library in downtown Nashville had I believe one or was that Warren Ellis' "Crooked Little Vein" that I was so distracted by it opened up a portal in time for a samurai to pop out of. I named the samurai "Jack" for he had no name and I am black. I am black and call those who are unfamiliar to me "Jack" so as to label them in some fashion and keep a sense of civility up in the air.
I forget what book they had of his at Bookmanwoman but it wasn't the usually collection of short stories. When I have $8, I must remember to pay them a vis.
Most recently, my local classy library (it has glass ceilings and places to put your fedora and coat everything) perhaps listened to my written requests for A. The Wire in the DVD section (You have "Boys Don't Cry" the collectors edition and the latest season of "Cory In the House" and "Desperate Housewives" but no seasons of "the best show on television" by TIME magazine, Entertainment Weekly, The Chicago Tribune, Slate Mag, the San Francisco Chronicle, The Philadelphia Daily News, and the Gaurdian.
Go out and buy this is what I'm trying to convey here.
OH WAIT I'M SUPPOSE TO BE READING BOOKS. So yeah, I see two Harlan Ellison books. I grab the one that has "Harlan Ellison's Movie" as one of the stories. It was due yesterday afternoon before 5:30pm. I showed up to the library around 7:15pm, knockin' on doors and the like. I posted up in the parkin' lot with my trunk playing "Dr. Feelgood" and me reading the first 3 or 4 pages. Shit was so cash.
Hmm, it seems I have delinated my vocabulary onto an 4chan meme without any thought of it.
Damn.
(Just look they were playing Outlaw Star and now they're giving me this Canadian show ReBoot)
Well I do want to become a better writer so my task today is to read. And not read comicbooks, (d'oh! My foolproof plan to read 15 comics sequentially at Borders is ruined!) but hardback ones. I'm talking about those clunky motherfuckers. The kind of books that could replace the yellow pages as the choice of torture weapon in a police station's interrogation room. The kind of book OLD people used to, and still can, read. The kind of book Oprah masterbates to. THAT book.
...
Well, not THAT book but I found one that has just as much width (mix that medium of measurement with that Oprah comment and a funny little picture will creep into your mind) as the dreaded book club book without the sass you intake from discussing it with friends and strangers at the mall. I'm talking about (has to look for the book to find the title) "Edgeworks 3 by Harlan Ellison". Yes, that Harlan Ellison. One of the most prolific, celebrated science fiction writers of the last 100 years. I knew a lot about him from Patton Oswalts pervasive rants. His name would fall out of Oswalt's mouth more than a few times. What struck me is how hard it was to actually find some stuff of his at a bookstore. Borders, Barnes & Nobles and Davis Kidd were bone dry of the stuff. It was only at libraries and the cartoonishly volumed Bookman & Bookwoman that I would find one book of his. Each time, a different one.
My local library had a Graphic Novel (SQUEEEEEEE) collection of some of his short stories with him walking in-between stories like a cross between Alfred Hitchcock, the Crpyt Keeper, and Robert Duvall (it fits. IT FITS I TELL YOU!).
My distant library in downtown Nashville had I believe one or was that Warren Ellis' "Crooked Little Vein" that I was so distracted by it opened up a portal in time for a samurai to pop out of. I named the samurai "Jack" for he had no name and I am black. I am black and call those who are unfamiliar to me "Jack" so as to label them in some fashion and keep a sense of civility up in the air.
I forget what book they had of his at Bookmanwoman but it wasn't the usually collection of short stories. When I have $8, I must remember to pay them a vis.
Most recently, my local classy library (it has glass ceilings and places to put your fedora and coat everything) perhaps listened to my written requests for A. The Wire in the DVD section (You have "Boys Don't Cry" the collectors edition and the latest season of "Cory In the House" and "Desperate Housewives" but no seasons of "the best show on television" by TIME magazine, Entertainment Weekly, The Chicago Tribune, Slate Mag, the San Francisco Chronicle, The Philadelphia Daily News, and the Gaurdian.
Go out and buy this is what I'm trying to convey here.OH WAIT I'M SUPPOSE TO BE READING BOOKS. So yeah, I see two Harlan Ellison books. I grab the one that has "Harlan Ellison's Movie" as one of the stories. It was due yesterday afternoon before 5:30pm. I showed up to the library around 7:15pm, knockin' on doors and the like. I posted up in the parkin' lot with my trunk playing "Dr. Feelgood" and me reading the first 3 or 4 pages. Shit was so cash.
Hmm, it seems I have delinated my vocabulary onto an 4chan meme without any thought of it.
Damn.
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