Peter Capp is Batroc ze Leaper

I was doing my Peter Capp voice when I was driving my way to the car shop (I practice voices when I drive by myself...huh...hadn't thought about the reprecussions of THAT act) and I remember Ed Brubaker (current award-winning writer for Captain America) making a comment in an interview that went to the affect of "I would love to put Batroc the Leaper in there but I can't write in a French accent accurately." This got me mad. How come Brubaker doesn't just force the accent? I want Batroc ze Leaper so badly in a Brubaker comicbook (especially after reading the Immortal Iron Fist: the Last Iron Fist Story Hardcover) cause Batroc is a nonsensical, formidable, mustachioed, madman who speaks with French phrases that sound like gibberish if translated. He's like a French Deadpool, except for the healing factor and weapons and ductape.


From his wikipedia article under Quotes:

Batroc uses many French terms which may strike even the American reader who makes up most of Marvel's audience as stereotypical; a native speaker of French may find Batroc's dialogue not only stereotypical but hilariously badly translated: "Zut alors!" (Batroc uses this term even in a totally inappropriate context) "Sacre Bleu!" (An expression spelled as one word in French.) "Alas, you are too sensitive, mon cher! But, c'est la vie!" "Nom du chien! Your insolence is insupportable-- insufferable!! For zat you shall pay un mille fois!" (Batroc should say "Nom d'un chien" and he shouldn't use the "un" for "mille fois") "Is it not très formidable!" (Andre: "It is not very tough!" Sure it makes sense here but in French to say something isn't something you have to say it with a "ne pas" around the verb. Without it the phrase "trés formidable" means: you/it are/is very tough! So it sounds like this to me: "It is not-YOU'RE VERY TOUGH!" "Ah, mon pauvre petit!" (Andre again: he basically called Captain America his daughter) Batroc inserts so much mangled French terminology into his speech, that Captain America once asked him "Who gave you your English lessons, Doctor Doom?"

Back in my car, I suddenly start cackling in the Peter Capp I-am-not-from-this-country-voice that "I AM BATROC! ZE LEEPERR!" It goes down hill from there (depending on which direction I was driving I could have easily gone uphill. Well, that joke sucked)


That is all.

BONG

And down this road, you will face your ultimate fear...living with your parents when your 30.

Today is a brand new day for me.

I'm taking the reins.
I'm bringing up baby.
I'm takin' em to Missouri.
I'm knowin' when to holddem and when to folddem, when to walk away and when to run.
It's fantastic!
I am so doing stand-up as a job this summer (along with many part-time ones, OH that reminds me to check my e-mail for UPS's response to my e-mail).
I am doing something of magnitude everyday.
I am calling the people that need to be called every week.

Starting today, no more lazy about watching shit on the internet (I've done enough to last me a lifetime back in college).
I need to write and read and work every single day.
I have a year to get myself awesome and show my 'rents that Andre Lemont Churchwell Jr. is the man that they though he was going to be when he was sired those many moons ago.
I got movie ideas that need tinkering.
Bits that need it too.
My room need s to be the cleanest of the house.
And my comic books....ooh boy...my comic books will be studied and pondered about till I can create an original idea for one myself.

They will be no stopping me.
Except you.
Not you, the happy reader.
YOU.
INTERNET.

I must salvage what I can of my will and strength and keep these brandwith demons at bay long enough to...catch up on the news of a Runaway's movie?...Wah-WHAT! And Brian K. Vaughn is writing the scrip-NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' BOUT WILLIS!

....er...

Good 'morrow.