My Little Day So Far

(Muffled Screams)

I remember being kissed awake, which is always the preferred method of waking up, but I didn't wake up. Not really. When I remember saying "EWAHU" and dropping back onto the pillow, that don't count as ready to hit the day-pavement...davement...fuck.
Lately, especially after a lively talk with Brad Sativa and Corey Perry that I might put up someday, I've been attracted to social media. So the first thing I did was check what my twitter feed was talking about and check the trending news, which was delightful (Cesar Milan aka "the Dog Whisperer" is under investigation for dog-on-pig action).
I posted some pictures and articles I enjoyed finding on my other feed, my facebook feed, and had a little fun doing it but am I really? Is this actually being creative to write about "I need to write more" after reading Warren Ellis daily 100-word essay machine that he christians "Morning Computer"?
Nope.
Hence, why I'm here.
Bonus: Words I had to look up on Ellis's blog:
brokered, fractious, gumming, the Boris Johnson Effect, lectern, hoary, Brexit, Taxonomy of Sin.

I wanted to post more feminist pictures from the highschool I volunteered at yesterday but fuck it, I'll do it after.
I ended up feeling compelled to finish my application to Toys-R-Us and finish listening to Bill Burr's podcast from last-last Thursday (gotta keep up with dem 'casts).
I occurred to me to check my e-mail for any new application messages from this or other jobs and I found one! From Knowledge Academies! I didn't show up to my interview today at 11am! It's 12:34pm! Shit. SHIT!

The drama/speech substitute class I was looking forward to just slipped through my fingers cause I ignored putting more notifications on my phone calendar. BTW, I had to spell-check substitute cause I can't even spell the education job I'm trying to get (MUFFLED SCREAMING CONTINUES) and I so earnestly loved the idea of teaching drama and speech to a bunch of nubile rapscallions (YEAH. I spellchecked the shit out of that too).
I haven't (even?) eaten yet.
(Muffled sighing)
I love you pillow. You are my closet friend and confidant. I will never leave you.

I need to actually prepare for my possible interview with Knowledge Academies next week. I do believe they are desperate for good teachers like, huh like any good school I guess. But it seems like with KA they need one right now, so I should look on this accident as a blessing and work hard to impress the faculty adviser of the school with my improv games, tongue-twisters, and relaxation measures.
Now roll your tongue.
RRrrrrrrrrrr.


OH MAN
I FORGOT TO MENTION THE BEST PART
So I finished my ToysRUs app and look at it. It's for the Alabama location. Y'know, the one that alphabetically poops up first. So I try to apply for the Murfreesboro one and it wants me to put all the info, that I spent almost an hour on putting into the wrong one, into this one!
Fuck me!
Ha!
Time to take a break and eat dead animals to feel better!

Springwater: The Hell Was That?

Open mic night, I sing to myself.
Seriously, I love doing open mics but when I'm going to a place that I have had trouble getting laughs from, I get very defeatist very quickly. I've gotten better at fighting the good fight but I hope to seriously hideously bomb somewhere in front of loads of people and friends so that I'll have nothing to be a scared of anymore

This podcast I did with my girl, Holly is on mixcloud

This podcast is old as shit.
If this was salsa, it would get a Mexican restaurant closed down.
It finally put it up after more than five months of dicking and pussying around.
I'll make more if I remember to do it, but I won't. I fucking won't. After a open mic I'm thinking of all the things I've done wrong at the mic/in life and am using all my subconscious mental power to drive me home and find the right CD in my backseat without using my eyes.
Anyways, I made this with my comedian girlfriend Holly Amber and made references to other movies and podcast I only listen too, like SuperBestFriendCast and the Monday Morning Podcast which, now that I think about, fucking everyone knows those who find this one. And if you don't give them a rip. Those Canucks make funny, stupid, yet insightful shit and double true for the World Renown Bill Burr.
Seriously though, listen to this podcast.
It's a video game podcast and better than ours cause Jeff Gerstmann is THE FUNNIEST MAN IN AMERICA, GODDAMN.

And after that listen to ours and email us ( banthispodcast@gmail.com ) questions and comments and whatever we might ignore it but you did it so be glad about that.

Here is a link to download the podcast: http://stream18.mixcloud.com/c/m4a/64/4/1/c/6/c9f5-6c6d-48c1-9a0b-2a5bb456fd88.m4a?1457585515